Man Identified as “Not Santa”, Dies Stuck In Chimney

Man Identified as “Not Santa”, Dies Stuck In Chimney

Huron, California: police said a man who they say was “definitely not Santa Claus” was killed in an attempted burglary of a rural home after he became stuck in the chimney. Officers said the man apparently became stuck when he attempted to gain access to the home through the chimney, proving that he obviously was not the brightest bulb in the box of Christmas lights.

Police said the burglar to have climbed in the chimney Friday night in an attempt to rob the home in the small city of Huron, California but became stuck. The man was not discovered for at least 12 hours when just before 3 p.m. Saturday the homeowner came home and lit a fire in the fireplace.

The fire caused the would-be burglar to start screaming which alerted the homeowner to his presence. The homeowner then attempted to extinguish the fire as both the chimney and the home started to fill with smoke.

Both the Fresno County Sheriff’s Office and local firefighters responded to the home in an attempt to extricate the man from the chimney. Emergency crews used sledge hammers and jackhammers to get to the trapped individual but to no avail. By the time the man was finally pull free, he was pronounced dead saving taxpayer thousands of dollars for a trial and incarceration.

The coroner’s office was then called to remove the body from the scene and an autopsy will be conducted to determine his identity and the exact cause of death, a sheriff’s deputy said. Meanwhile the homeowner is left with a major cleanup job from the smoke damage to his home and the cost of repairing the now none functioning chimney.

No doubt liberals will now start calling for “Fireplace Control” and requiring all residents to leave at least one door or window unlocked at all times. Do so will reduce the likelihood that someone could become trapped in your chimney. Remember, “the only safe fireplace is a well ventilated and regulated fireplace.”

1 Comment

  1. Back when the U.K. Was still debating outlawing guns, one member of Parliament stood and said, “We can’t have homeowners shooting intruders!”

    I can see a state like CA or OR or NY doing exactly what you suggest instead of realizing the burglar got what he had coming.

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